Guard- (verb)
-to take P R E C A U T I O N, to guard against E R R O R S
-to give P R O C T E C T I O N; be W A T C H F U L.
The Queen’s Guard to the royal palace is the first distinct area in this occupation that pops in my mind. Maybe it’s the fact that my grandmother was born and raised in England, or their timeless uniforms. Either way, there’s no room for errors when your life depends on giving protection and careful watch to royalty. One mistake can be used against them; it’s off with their head! You know you’ve wondered if you could make one of them crack a smile! But, as the changing of the guards sets in, I wonder how it feels to let go of such a high priority. Do they ever let their guard down knowing what’s at stake?
While this might have been a ploy, something never before portrayed in the Royal family happened a couple of weeks ago on national television. Megan, Duchess of Sussex, was asked by a reporter, “How are you doing?” In real-time, you see the image of perfection heavy in her eyes. She gently responds, “I’ll be honest. It’s hard.” Now that’s a girl I can sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee and conversation. We can only imagine what it takes to be her for just one day. I mean, I wouldn’t mind a day in the life of her royalty, but the verge of perfection and newness of motherhood is often too hard to hide. I’ve been there, too. A moment of relief comes over you, and you just want to pass the torch to someone else. You wish you could skip this mile marker and arrive at your destination.
“The spotlight never fixes our insecurities. It only magnifies what we thought our popularity would cover up.” Uninvited by Lysa Terkerurst
I still remember that day in September of 2012. The first fall rain and chilly combination soothed my pain and overpowering grief. There I was chasing after something that had no return address. I watched my husband drive away with his last words loud and clear. A week prior, he had told me he never really loved me. I should have seen this coming friend, but I kept clinging to the hope for months that God was going to change his heart. I walked back into our apartment with nothing left but silence and my own insecurities like nails on a chalkboard. They say a divorce is worse than death. I can testify truth to this statement.
I constantly wrestled with that horrid word, divorce. I didn’t want to go down as a 25 year old who, after one year of marriage, was returning to her hometown with it added to her resume. For two months, I watched our joint bank account provide proof to adultery. This was the third sign of evidence God gifted me with to remain in peace that this was in fact the last resort. There would be no more us, and for me, this sparked flames to loneliness, weakness, and hurt I had pushed beneath the surface for way too long.
Discernment takes over.
It’s a gift I’m thankful God blessed us with against the odds of hurt and pain. Your senses are heightened and your guard is up. The sound wave warning is clear in an instant that when we know something is not right, we step away. Looking back, that same heartache taught me the depth of true confidence in Christ. Though destruction and chaos kept playing out all around me, the purge of walking through it with Him gave me a new sense of purpose. I started to build my worth on a solid foundation with each nail sturdy enough to hold it steady until the next storm passed through. He could have left me there in the pit of despair, but He chose to save me. His providence is truly an unseen gift we take for granted. Ultimate faith in Him is the reality of what is hoped for and the proof of what is not yet seen. (see HEBREWS 11:1)
Recently, we are walking through a new pathway of hurt. We’ve gotten lost in logic and it’s something we would never imagine taken place. The lasting sting reminds me that old ways won’t open new doors. Change struck us so quickly, and while we wrestle with our own fault in it, we are walking through the stages of grief losing what once was so comfortable to us. Little by little the smoke is beginning to clear, and I’m learning that the Lord never needed me to clean up after the destruction.
As we advocate for realness, we must take a hard look at our messes and walk through them with Christ. What are we holding on to so tightly that we can’t release it when push comes to shove? Revealing what takes hostage to our thoughts is the first process that allows us to break way for freedom. That glorious day Christ offered up His life to save ours was more than just a sacrifice He made for our sins. The cross also symbolizes REAL emotion and PHYSICAL pain our Lord used to help us relate back to him with our suffering here on Earth. He understands the pain of your divorce, the loss you can’t seem to bare, the unexplained health issue, and the emotions that still hold true with the sunrise.
“Take up the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:17
Walls eventually crack and mistakes will be made, but boasting about our weakness allows Christ to be the guard that determines the next shift in change (speaking to the choir over here). For when I am weak, then I am strong. Let’s take up our cross and follow Him.