If these walls could talk...
We are listing our house and land on the market today. The past two weeks I’ve been on a high of organizing and straightening up everything in sight. But, I’ve learned in the past 5 years of our marriage that the best time to do this is between the hours of 8 am and 6 pm. My husband has no clue what’s being thrown away, and his hoarder tendencies would like it to stay that way.
If it’s made it through the trash and taken away without sight, I feel a rush of relief and somewhat success as it leaves our home. They should talk about these things in pre-marriage counseling…
When my husband and I first met, he had just built a one bedroom, 700 square foot cabin on a beautiful piece of land we currently live on. Shortly after he met me, everything changed. And I mean EVERYTHING. We laugh about it, but it’s true. First came love, secondly marriage, and then BABIES in the carriage.
I’ll never forget the look on his face as the doctor told us we were having twins. I thought he might pass out. I had shaken up the ol’ country boy’s life and flipped it upside down. Again. It was in that moment I wondered if he might have reconsidered marrying this city girl.
At the time, funds were tight. We were barely making it, and I had just quit my job to focus on finishing my bachelor’s degree at UT Tyler. Here I was, pregnant with two, jobless, and somehow going to have to figure out how to not throw up on everyone I had contact with. We had no clue how we were going to be able afford to build another home, much less get ready in time for the babies’ arrival. We began praying those prayers of desperation. The prayers that are open ended and have no answer in sight. This was truly going to take a miracle and everything would have to fall in place perfectly for our lives to turn around.
“For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37
Young adults, hear this loud and clear. You can prepare, save, and have a Pinterest worthy nursery, but there is no greater joy found than in the process of true dependency on the Lord.
“I will lead the blind by a way they did not know;
I will guide them on paths they have not known.
I will turn darkness to light in front of them
And rough places into level ground.
This is what I will do for them,
And I will not abandon them.”
Isaiah 42: 16
We sold our cabin two weeks after posting pictures on Facebook. Two weeks. We got the exact price we were asking for, and the Lord began to shape our hearts with the perfect formula we would need for parenthood. Him. That’s it.
We didn’t do anything other than speak aloud our need and have faith that He could do the impossible for us. The desires of our hearts were laid before Him, and we wanted Him to know we couldn’t take this next step without Him making the first move.
As I began to take pictures throughout our home this past week, my heart sank a little. This accidental country girl has found His love in some of the hardest things life could throw at you. If these walls could talk, they’d tell a story of a family who has learned the ins and outs of heartbreak. From an incurable disease, unanswered prayers, and just trying to make it, our knees have hit the floor in angst. I have had many sleepless nights, questioned motherhood, and spent the past three years wondering if I have a clue what I’m doing. The Lord has taught me so much here in this place we call home. I cling to the atmosphere of comfort and the hidden victories inside these walls.
But I was reminded once again from a powerful word spoken in our bible study this morning that leaving comfort takes courage.
God has again put a stirring in our heart to make a move. The day we decided to sell our home, I had planned to design our first t-shirt and pray about the verse and words that would highlight it. I always like to open my bible and let Him lead me first. There it was, in plain sight.
“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.” Psalms 37:4
Commit your way to the Lord…trust in Him, and He will act. Let your asking be BOLD, knowing it is our privilege as His daughters to lay our greatest dreams and desires at His feet. The Lord can work with an honest heart. We can begin to seek contentment knowing it doesn’t equal complacency but helps our souls rest and not resist in His timing. If you are looking for perfection, you’ll never be content.
“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Philippians 4:11
We’re not sure what tomorrow holds, or whether we will be able to sell within the timeline we have discussed. However, the walls in this home whisper the memories we couldn’t have dreamed would have come true if not in the hands of our Savior.
So we sit and wait knowing the story of this home doesn’t end with us.
We will continue to cling to a life designed by Jesus Christ.